Thainglish

Today I got to sit and chat with a bunch of Thai guys that work on the island where we're staying. Mostly I talked with Sonny, who knows a lot of English, and the other guys listened and laughed. Here is a little taste of what the conversation was like:

Sonny: "You live Canada? Where you live Canada?"

Me: "Calgary."

Sonny: "I know Calgary. No, I no know Calgary. I know lots people come Calgary."

Me: "Calgary. Cowboys. Cows."

Sonny: "You have cow? You cowboy?"

Me: "My family have cows. Me no cowboy."

Sonny: "Oh? How many cow?"

Me: "Ummm, not sure. Maybe two hundred?"

Sonny: "Oh! Many cow. You marry Sonny?" (insert eyebrow waggles and winks here)

Me: "No, I don't think so."

Sonny: "Oh, I just joke. I just joke. I come Canada. I work your farm?"

Me: "You want work with cows?"

Sonny: "Yes, I wash."

Me: "You wash cows?" I start laughing.

Sonny: "Yes, maybe I ride boat across ocean. But very far. I no know way how go."

Me: "Yes, that is very far."

Sonny: "Ummmm, I thinking. I just thinking. Maybe I put propeller on boat. Big propeller same

same like helicopter. I fly boat Canada."

Me: "I look sky for you."

Sonny: "Ocean Canada ocean where? Toronto?"

I draw a map of Canada in the sand with my finger and give Sonny a quick Canadian geography lesson. "Here Toronto. Here Calgary. Here my family farm. Here ocean. Here ocean. Here ocean. Here people. Here no people."

Sonny: "Why here no people?"

Me: "Too cold. Only ice. Snow. Animals. Moose. Bear. People freeze."

Sonny: "I come Canada. I live here. I get animal."

Me: "You no like. You freeze. Bear eat you."

Sonny: "I shoot. I eat."

Me: "You shoot bear? You eat bear?"

Sonny: "Yes. I live Canada. I come boat."

And it goes on as we sit in the sand under a tree, the waves slapping the shore beside us - lots of laughter, lots of Thainglish.